Many Christians believe spiritual growth comes from having all the right answers, but what if it comes from asking the right questions?

 I help Christians ask why ? ‘s for spiritual growth.

Are you longing for spiritual growth?

One way to know God and yourself more as His child is by wrestling with why questions specific to thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Your Free Why Form will give you 50 questions to choose from because asking self-reflection questions with God in prayer and Scripture creates a pathway for growth. You might not know what to do with these questions, so my blog posts and once-a-month email devotional are there to guide you. They will foster authentic growth and heart change by illustrating the need for an honest and open relationship with God. Let these tools help you slow down and better connect with God because you will grow as your relationship with God grows.

Ask and Receive

Find Rich Relationship with God Through Questions Found in Scripture

When studying a narrative passage of Scripture, a story, or a parable, one way to learn is to contemplate what it would be like to be in the story with the characters. This beautifully designed study is a creative way to step into the character’s shoes.

Ask and Receive is a fresh idea for spiritual growth. This Bible study will point to different stories in the Old and New Testaments in which questions are an integral part of the dialogue. A list of verses is clearly labeled for reflection and is linked to the character’s questions so the reader can dig into God’s Word to learn more.

Additional information


The Why Story

A few years ago, I was working to receive a Ministry Degree at the University of Northwestern in St. Paul. In one of my classes, we were required to attend a spiritual retreat. As I was preparing to leave for the retreat, I felt the Lord speak to my heart. I felt Him say, at the retreat, I was going to face my biggest fear. Immediately, what I thought were my biggest fears, surfaced in my mind.

What are your biggest fears?

Are you afraid of bridges, heights, or spiders?
Maybe you are afraid of getting sick or losing someone you love.

I thought my biggest fears were of losing one of my family members or one of us being diagnosed with a terminal illness. I went to the retreat with a sense of foreboding and dread. I believed I was about to face an awful tragedy in my life.

At the retreat, we went through several exercises as a group, but we also had specific time alone with God. During one of my times alone in prayer, I felt Him say in my spirit, “Your biggest fear is that you are afraid you are not good enough.” At first, I sat stunned. It was not what I expected to learn. After I sat for a little while, I felt overcome with disappointment in who I am. I felt self-focused and prideful.

Was this really my greatest fear?

I went home quiet and sullen. I realized how much I disliked myself. Over the next two years, God gently and patiently worked to show me how this fear presented itself in my life. He also showed me how I had gotten to this place in my journey.

Due to the circumstances I experienced growing up, I felt unloved. These circumstances also created a place in me in which I felt I was not good enough. I felt less than. I felt everyone was better than me, and I needed to work hard to measure up. I internalized these feelings and lived them out without even realizing this was what I was doing.

These feelings of not being good enough caused me to feel like I needed to perform for acceptance. I learned how to be proficient at perceiving what other people wanted of me, and I worked hard to be acceptable in their eyes. I worked myself sick at times, trying to prove myself worthy of love, worthy of acceptance, and approval. Over and over, I denied what was important to me, and I worked hard to be pleasing to others.

When I became a Christian as an adult, I unknowingly did this same thing with God. I began a path of proving my worth to Him through service. I worked hard in service, hoping that my work would make me acceptable to Him. This is a devastating path that leads to despair and disillusionment. When you take this path, you burn yourself out and end up in a crisis of faith. This is what happened to me.

God wants us to grow in connection with Him. He wants us to delight in Him and enjoy being in His Presence. It is impossible to delight in God if we feel we must perform for Him. In fact, this is the opposite of what He wants of us as His children.

 If you are searching for answers to why you aren’t growing spiritually,

I would love to help.

Do you realize how deeply God loves you?

The world around us wants us to prove our worth, but God does not. God wants us to understand His love and love Him in return. If we feel like we need to perform for Him, we will neglect sitting with Him, spending time with Him in prayer and His word.

Sometimes unknowingly, we can let rules and religion take us down this pathway. We can turn worship into following rules and relationships into a place of proving our worth. I know because I did this too.
When I first became a Christian, I mistakenly thought this is what it meant to be a Christian. I took my background and this false idea that Christianity meant perfection, and I went full force into trying to become perfect all on my own. It is easy to do if we aren’t aware this is what we are doing.

Eventually, we crash. We look at what feels like a list of rules in front of us, and we decide we will never measure up.

Have you fallen into any of these traps in your own life?

Do you think you are acceptable to God?

The truth we must understand is that we are good enough not because of anything we do but because of Christ. We are good enough in Him. In Christ’s life, suffering, death, and resurrection, we are given a new life before God. When God looks at us, He looks at us through the work Jesus did on the cross. He sees our belief in His Son, and we are righteous not because of our works but because of our belief. He loves us with a deep and abiding love.

This journey led me to a deeper place of searching out the whys of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. Some examples of my why questions:

  • Why do I perform for acceptance?
  • Why do I live like I have to earn my place?
  • Why do I work hard for the approval of others?
  • Why do I feel less than others?

Taking time to discover our whys, opens a place for God to work in the innermost places of our heart.

What are your whys?

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17

Getting to the Root of WHY

I am a wrestler. No, not an actual wrestler where I face an opponent on a gym mat, but a why wrestler. I have spent much of my adulthood searching for the whys in my life.

Why do I behave this way? 

Why do I feel the way I do? 

Why do I keep repeating the same unhelpful patterns?

The questions create a pathway to healing and growth if taken to God in His Word and prayer because the answers guide change. 

I would love to help you become a why wrestler too.


Because as you wrestle with the whys of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, God will help you uncover the roots of your whys. As God guides you to the origins of your whys, you begin to change in Him, and change brings freedom.

I took this picture by a statue that was in process to remind me that I am in process too.

Articles for Your Why Journey

Why might I miss trouble ahead?

My heart danced for joy as I anticipated the meeting. New to the Christian faith as a young mom in my early twenties, I believed I could make a difference in the ministry I joined. Skipping up the stairs of the historical building to the staff offices, I waited...

Why do I fear God will be unfaithful?

When I fear God will be unfaithful, I wonder if I fear what I know of people rather than what I truly know of God. In contemplating this week's question, I realize sometimes I mistake people's failure to represent who God is without even realizing the exchange.  In...

Wrestling an Unexpected Why

Typically, I discover why questions during my time alone with God. As I sit with Him, I realize I have thoughts, feelings, or behaviors which need attention. Sometimes, however, the questions come through different means. This is what happened last week. A surprising...

Why do I feel misunderstood?

At times, we may feel frustrated when the person we are speaking with misunderstands the intent of our words. One of the gifts I treasure most in my relationship with God is being understood. As we pour our hearts out to Him in prayer, He understands. In fact, He...

Why am I so serious all the time?

When we lived in Aberdeen, South Dakota, almost 20 years ago now, we were members of a United Methodist Church. Shannon taught 4th grade Sunday School with our good friend Cathy, and I taught 1st graders. In the room where I taught, a large bulletin board hung on the...

Why do I constantly put myself down?

Imagine God clothed in a flame of fire rising from the midst of a bush. Imagine staring into the blaze, realizing that the bush is burning, but the flames are not consuming it. Imagine hearing God call your name out of the flame and picture being told to take your...

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